WeightWatchers Journey—- is this farewell??

Alright, so it has been about 8 weeks since my last post about my WeightWatchers journey.  I certainly wish I had much more to post, but honestly— not much has changed.  I am at a current weight loss of 26.8 pounds.  My current weight is 136.  I will let you do the math to figure out my starting weight, lol.

And I will be candid and tell you that I write this while I catch up on General Hospital and am eating Birthday Cake Fudge Striped Cookies with tears in my eyes– go ahead and Judge me………

My goal weight is 125, so I am still 11 pounds away and I have a feeling, that it will take me a little while to get to that weight loss.  I am sort of at a stand still right now.  I know that is normal and I know that 26 pounds lost is a great thing.  I actually feel bad that I am not as happy about it as I should be.  But, realistically- I have not been working quite as hard as I was before, so I haven’t been expecting much!

I have a reached a point where I am just ready to give up.  My confidence is soaring, I am feeling amazing, but there  is just something that pulls me to the other side.  The side of me that wants to eat what I want, when I want, the amount I want.  The part of me that doesn’t want to track everything that I put in my mouth, and then feel guilty when I choose the “wrong” things.

And, to be perfectly honest.  I HAVE given up.  I haven’t weighed in in about 3 weeks.  I haven’t tracked any of the food that I have put in my mouth, and I haven’t really been doing much in the area of exercise aside from the occasional dance class and work out video here and there.  Jen and I have been talking and we are thinking of trying something new that starts on Monday, but I am still not 100% sold on that either.  Why is it that the more work I have to put into something, the less I want to do it?  Am I really that lazy?  The answer is … yes!  I really am that lazy.  And it just plain sucks.  Over the past month, I have been complimented more than I could ever imagine.  I have been praised for my weight loss.  My boost in confidence has not gone unnoticed.  I carry myself slightly differently, I smile way more than I have in a long while.  I was even told, just recently, “Wow, I can actually put my hands around you, which means you must be losing weight” (Wait a minute, was I that big- I don’t think so, but the fact that someone could comment like that makes me realize just how drastic my weight loss has been)

Why would I want to sabotage that?  Why throw all of this hard work away?  Unfortunately, if I had the answer, I probably wouldn’t be writing these questions one.  SO if you come to these posts for motivation– click off NOW- You will NOT get motivation here.  You will get real life.  Real feelings, real self sabotage, real self pity, real ME!

I am not just my weight loss. I know that.  I know that there is so much more to me than that. I am extremely happy and grateful for as far as I have gotten.. I don’t take any of it for granted.

Let me close this by saying– Yes, I am giving up Weight Watchers. And yes, I acknowledge all of the good that it has done for me.

BUT NO — I will not just stop trying to lose the weight and maintain a healthy lifestyle.  My journey with weight loss and the journey to find myself is so far from over. It has only just begun………

 

~~~~~Michelle

xoxo

Author: MakeupOfMichelle

Just a normal human- mom of 3, aspiring writer and yogi. Lover of all things self help, planning, inspirational. Always working to be the best version of myself and constant trying to learn how to be raw, real, and true to myself and all others. Welcome to my everlasting journey...

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