Pushing past discomfort

Uggghhhh…. I cannot stress how much I cannot stand pushing past the discomfort. This is the concept that tends to stop me from so many things. Let me try to explain.
Comfort is important to me. It is safe. It is not judgmental. However, in my comfortable space, I feel stuck and I judge myself. I think about the events I cancelled on. The people I let down, the experiences I miss, the opportunities I have lost. That overwhelms me and makes me feel inadequate at the same time. In my mind, it is just easier to say “NO” and decline all that makes me uncomfortable. In my heart, it feels like the patterns in my life have proven that pushing past the discomfort is where all the experiences really live. And I want experiences.
This past weekend, I had the opportunity to spend the day with some ladies that I had met in a group I was a part of. One of the women is my life/career coach, so I am already comfortable with her. The other ladies were women that I had been interacting with for several months as we supported one another on social media and spoke during live phone calls. These women have become a part of my life. So, when the opportunity came about to meet up with them, I immediately agreed and blocked my calendar. I talked about it to friends and family. I hyped myself up… right up until just a few days prior. Just days before, my anxiety kicked in and every possible excuse presented itself for why I shouldn’t go- I was tired, had planning for a birthday party, needed to clean, my car’s brakes were acting up, and the list goes on. However, lucky for me, my oldest daughter is tough, my husband is supportive, and I have some motivating friends that pushed me to suck it up, move past the discomfort, and show up anyway.
And boy am I glad I did. I met up with 4 other beautiful souls and had a great day. We talked about nonsense, about life, about our “passion projects”, about things that scare us, things that we are struggling with, the moments we are celebrating, and moments we are dreading. I wore a bathing suit- which I almost NEVER do, went to the beach- which I almost NEVER do, had shrimp tacos- which I had NEVER had before, and drank Rose- which I DON’T normally do. There was talk of sage and tacos, journaling, meditation, and so much more. There was bonding. There was discomfort and I felt like a warrior as I worked through it.
The following day, I spent a lot of time thinking about the what ifs. What if I really hadn’t gone? What if I hadn’t been honest about my feelings? If I chose to just not show up, I would have missed out on some firsts in my life. I would not have been able to have some extremely raw moments, that brought me to a belief that I have needed. I would not have realized that I have been hiding behind a person that I have come to feel that I need to be instead of just being myself. I would have been disappointed in myself. Instead, I was honest with how I was feeling, and I was greeted with grace. There was no pity for my emotions, but there was respect. Me opening up, created a dialogue about safe spaces and moving forward. I experienced raw emotions and allowed myself to be vulnerable around people I was meeting for the first time. I learned a great deal about myself in 7 hours that may have taken years to learn if I hadn’t gone. B pushing past some discomfort, I was reminded again of the importance of showing up for myself and being true to my word. And these are life lessons that I need.
I don’t think the discomfort will ever go away; I don’t even know of I truly want it to. I do think that it will decrease in intensity each time I work through another situation that is not comfortable to me. I feel that it helps me grow as a person and strengthens my spirit. Your area of discomfort may be different from mine, but it is just as valid. I have learned over time, that the events and circumstances that make me uncomfortable do not define who I am as a person. They are merely a part of who I am and who I am becoming. They are yet another obstacle for me to overcome on this never-ending journey of life. I am becoming a braver woman daily. I am learning to be vocal about my discomfort and being able to be gracious with myself as I work through them. I do not ask people to understand, but to hear me when I am expressing these feelings. I do not ask you to agree with me, but I will ask that you respect them. I am growing and it is a process and it is still new to me, even at 36 years old and if you could be gentle, I would appreciate it.
I will leave you with this. Just little things I am learning along the way. Life is not made to be full of ease and comfort. We can experience things that will be both wonderful and not so great. Both kinds of moments help us grow and to come into the lives we are meant to lead. For me, many of the greatest experiences have simply come from pushing past the discomfort…. for you, I don’t know if your story will be the same. But, just maybe- you could give it a try. And be ready and willing to accept the outcome. If it makes you weary, know that I am here and am willing to take your arm and guide you through it. That is what has worked for me, so I only want to pay it forward. You are a warrior- the uncomfortable is just a minor feat amidst the major greatness lying in wait for you! You got this!! Push past the discomfort my dears…
In all things find beauty,
~MRC