Day 4 — What are you afraid of?

In my Day 2 blog post, I mentioned random facts about myself.  In that I mentioned my fear of large crowds and of vomit.  I am not exactly sure that these are the kind of fears that’s reviewing asked about.  Maybe they are, but I am going to dig deeper and really think about what I am afraid of.  I am sure there is not just one answer.

I would have to say that one of the things that I am afraid of is never truly finding AND doing the things that make me happy.  At 33 years old, sometimes I feel like such a failure.  Now please don’t over think that.  I sure as heck try not to.  Yes, I am married. Yes, I have 3 kids. Yes, I on a house. Yes, I have a job. Yes, I have friends (not many, but just enough for my liking). Yes, I have loving and supportive family members.  BUT– sometimes, let’s be honest here… most times, I still feel like so much is missing.  I’m afraid that I am gotten sucked into this idea that I must do things in a certain way at a certain time, with certain people.  I’m afraid that if I don’t start really living for me, I will be stuck in this mold and never know the real meaning of life.  

And if I allow myself to continue living this way,  I’m afraid my children will continue the cycle.  I look at Mayci in all her 4 year old glory and envy her vivacious and fiery spirit. It had to have come from somewhere.  She has an “old” soul and a laid back attitude like her daddy… But that want to excitement and that light in her eyes, could that have possible come from my gene pool.  God I can only hope so! Myles, at only 6 has that ability to learn something new and yet still want to learn even more about it. He seems to have a passion for always needed to broaden his intellect.  I want that! And Madison, her sense of accomplishment and drive toward success in everything she touches, I pray that it sticks with her until her last days. And I fear that if I don’t start living my life FOR something, I will not be able to nurture those qualities in each of my children and they will get locked away in a place never to be found again.

I think as I am getting older I am thinking more about the quality of my life as opposed to what I physically have in my life.  I am afraid of not living a life worth anything.  I am afraid of not making a difference in someone’s life.  There are so many people that I credit for changing my life in many ways. I just want to know that when I am done with my life here on Earth, that someone can say that I left a mark on their life.  I’m not looking to change the world, but I do want to have an effect on the future.  

But you know what….  Maybe what I should really be afraid of is that all of these fears are the very thing that are keeping me from reaching the goals that I ultimately yearn for………..  

 

 

Day 3 — Your favorite quote!

Day 3 – Your favorite quote

 

Oh Dear– I LOVE quotes.  Quotes of all kinds. Quotes about love, happiness, life, inspiration, strength, fear, etc  I don’t think that I could ever narrow it down to just one.  So I will list 5 of my favorites (in no particular order)– and even that will be hard:

  1. “Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, or won.  It is a spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, & gratitude.”   ~~Denis Waitley
  2. “Embrace the glorious mess that you are.”  ~~ Elizabeth Gilbert
  3. “Your naked body should only belong to those who fall in love with your naked soul.” ~~Charlie Chaplin
  4. “Be the type of person that makes everyone you come across feel perfectly okay with being exactly who they are”
  5. “Don’t judge someone just because they sin differently than you”

 

Day 3— DONE!

 

Day 2 —20 Facts about you (well, me)

Day 2– 20 FACTS ABOUT ME———>

Hmmmm, anyone reading this will probably already know these facts about me, but here it goes.

  1.  I was born in Anchorage, Alaska  — no I am not an Eskimo, no I did not live in an Igloo, yes I am a US Citizen and I do not need a green card (I say all of this because these are all questions that have been asked of me when people find out where I was born)
  2. I was in the Army
  3. Even though I tend to be quite outgoing, I have an extreme fear of crowds
  4. I think I have misophonia – strong dislike/hatred of certain sounds.  Listening to certain people eat or people eat certain things truly makes me ANGRY!
  5. I rock myself to sleep — not as much as I used to, but I used to rock anytime I was sitting or getting ready for bed
  6. I have been a vegetarian since July 2014 – not because of some monumental reason  – I honestly woke up one day and said that I wanted to change one thing about my life, and that was what I chose
  7. I lived in Keflavik, Iceland – yes, it was cold
  8. I lived in 8 places before I turned 13 years old – I was Air Force brat 🙂
  9. I gave birth to all 3 of my kids without any pain medication or an epidural
  10. I still have a baby tooth in my mouth that never fell out
  11. I have a severe fear of vomit — it’s actually called emetophobia
  12. I still haven’t graduated from college– BUT it’s on my bucket list to get my Bachelor’s — even though I would really like my Master’s
  13. I have been the victim of Domestic Violence- I was scared and didn’t tell many people… but have also comes to terms with my experiences and have learned the power of Forgiveness
  14. I have a very addictive personality, which is why I don’t like to drink and never got into smoking
  15. I am obsessed with inspirational quotations – have them written down EVERYWHERE and sometimes speak only using them
  16. Even though I like inspirational quotes, I suffer from depression and bipolar disorder
  17. I have an extreme sweet tooth
  18. I wanted to be an English teacher up until I was in the 10th grade.. at that time, my interests started leaning towards Criminal Psychology- and that is my true interest now
  19. I love doing Yoga, but haven’t done it in a while and am really hoping to get back in to it
  20. I have 7 tattoos.. the most recent being a total of actually 8 tattoos(lotus flower with the 7 chakras written in Sanskrit down my spine)– but I count it as one since it all goes together.  Yup– I still want more

Alrighty!!  Hopefully you still think that I am worthy of being your friend after reading about the weirdness that is me.  But chances are- none of these things were a secret and you already knew them!! 🙂

31 Day Blog Challenge

Screenshot_2015-12-01-06-04-02
WELCOME to my new blog. I have decided to start my “MakeUp of Michelle” blog over, so please pardon the “bland” appearance. I am working to have my own domain and my own actual website, so until then, I will now be using Word press. In order to get back in the routine of blogging regularly, I decided to start this 31 day blog challenge. That means 1 post every day for 31 days— I mean, they say that it takes 21 days to build a habit, right??

And yes, in typical Michelle fashion, this post is up late which mean that there will actually be 2 posts going up today.

I am still going to be working on my “mommy” blog– A Constant Work In Progress at http://www.michellesdailydealings.blogspot.com Those posts will likely be weekly posts and will be up on Saturdays or Sundays beginning this weekend. Those posts will consist of all family related and kid updates. This blog will still be about the rest of who I am. The avid reader, the planner enthusiast, the makeup lover, the YouTube watcher, the wanna be runner, the self help obsessed….

Let’s just jump right in.

Today is Day 1 — Introduction and recent pic.

You just read your introduction, so here is your recent pic, taken on November 26, 2015- Thanksgiving Day and my 33rd Birthday!!!

20151126_141311