WeightWatchers Journey—- is this farewell??

Alright, so it has been about 8 weeks since my last post about my WeightWatchers journey.  I certainly wish I had much more to post, but honestly— not much has changed.  I am at a current weight loss of 26.8 pounds.  My current weight is 136.  I will let you do the math to figure out my starting weight, lol.

And I will be candid and tell you that I write this while I catch up on General Hospital and am eating Birthday Cake Fudge Striped Cookies with tears in my eyes– go ahead and Judge me………

My goal weight is 125, so I am still 11 pounds away and I have a feeling, that it will take me a little while to get to that weight loss.  I am sort of at a stand still right now.  I know that is normal and I know that 26 pounds lost is a great thing.  I actually feel bad that I am not as happy about it as I should be.  But, realistically- I have not been working quite as hard as I was before, so I haven’t been expecting much!

I have a reached a point where I am just ready to give up.  My confidence is soaring, I am feeling amazing, but there  is just something that pulls me to the other side.  The side of me that wants to eat what I want, when I want, the amount I want.  The part of me that doesn’t want to track everything that I put in my mouth, and then feel guilty when I choose the “wrong” things.

And, to be perfectly honest.  I HAVE given up.  I haven’t weighed in in about 3 weeks.  I haven’t tracked any of the food that I have put in my mouth, and I haven’t really been doing much in the area of exercise aside from the occasional dance class and work out video here and there.  Jen and I have been talking and we are thinking of trying something new that starts on Monday, but I am still not 100% sold on that either.  Why is it that the more work I have to put into something, the less I want to do it?  Am I really that lazy?  The answer is … yes!  I really am that lazy.  And it just plain sucks.  Over the past month, I have been complimented more than I could ever imagine.  I have been praised for my weight loss.  My boost in confidence has not gone unnoticed.  I carry myself slightly differently, I smile way more than I have in a long while.  I was even told, just recently, “Wow, I can actually put my hands around you, which means you must be losing weight” (Wait a minute, was I that big- I don’t think so, but the fact that someone could comment like that makes me realize just how drastic my weight loss has been)

Why would I want to sabotage that?  Why throw all of this hard work away?  Unfortunately, if I had the answer, I probably wouldn’t be writing these questions one.  SO if you come to these posts for motivation– click off NOW- You will NOT get motivation here.  You will get real life.  Real feelings, real self sabotage, real self pity, real ME!

I am not just my weight loss. I know that.  I know that there is so much more to me than that. I am extremely happy and grateful for as far as I have gotten.. I don’t take any of it for granted.

Let me close this by saying– Yes, I am giving up Weight Watchers. And yes, I acknowledge all of the good that it has done for me.

BUT NO — I will not just stop trying to lose the weight and maintain a healthy lifestyle.  My journey with weight loss and the journey to find myself is so far from over. It has only just begun………

 

~~~~~Michelle

xoxo

Day 2 —20 Facts about you (well, me)

Day 2– 20 FACTS ABOUT ME———>

Hmmmm, anyone reading this will probably already know these facts about me, but here it goes.

  1.  I was born in Anchorage, Alaska  — no I am not an Eskimo, no I did not live in an Igloo, yes I am a US Citizen and I do not need a green card (I say all of this because these are all questions that have been asked of me when people find out where I was born)
  2. I was in the Army
  3. Even though I tend to be quite outgoing, I have an extreme fear of crowds
  4. I think I have misophonia – strong dislike/hatred of certain sounds.  Listening to certain people eat or people eat certain things truly makes me ANGRY!
  5. I rock myself to sleep — not as much as I used to, but I used to rock anytime I was sitting or getting ready for bed
  6. I have been a vegetarian since July 2014 – not because of some monumental reason  – I honestly woke up one day and said that I wanted to change one thing about my life, and that was what I chose
  7. I lived in Keflavik, Iceland – yes, it was cold
  8. I lived in 8 places before I turned 13 years old – I was Air Force brat 🙂
  9. I gave birth to all 3 of my kids without any pain medication or an epidural
  10. I still have a baby tooth in my mouth that never fell out
  11. I have a severe fear of vomit — it’s actually called emetophobia
  12. I still haven’t graduated from college– BUT it’s on my bucket list to get my Bachelor’s — even though I would really like my Master’s
  13. I have been the victim of Domestic Violence- I was scared and didn’t tell many people… but have also comes to terms with my experiences and have learned the power of Forgiveness
  14. I have a very addictive personality, which is why I don’t like to drink and never got into smoking
  15. I am obsessed with inspirational quotations – have them written down EVERYWHERE and sometimes speak only using them
  16. Even though I like inspirational quotes, I suffer from depression and bipolar disorder
  17. I have an extreme sweet tooth
  18. I wanted to be an English teacher up until I was in the 10th grade.. at that time, my interests started leaning towards Criminal Psychology- and that is my true interest now
  19. I love doing Yoga, but haven’t done it in a while and am really hoping to get back in to it
  20. I have 7 tattoos.. the most recent being a total of actually 8 tattoos(lotus flower with the 7 chakras written in Sanskrit down my spine)– but I count it as one since it all goes together.  Yup– I still want more

Alrighty!!  Hopefully you still think that I am worthy of being your friend after reading about the weirdness that is me.  But chances are- none of these things were a secret and you already knew them!! 🙂

31 Day Blog Challenge

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WELCOME to my new blog. I have decided to start my “MakeUp of Michelle” blog over, so please pardon the “bland” appearance. I am working to have my own domain and my own actual website, so until then, I will now be using Word press. In order to get back in the routine of blogging regularly, I decided to start this 31 day blog challenge. That means 1 post every day for 31 days— I mean, they say that it takes 21 days to build a habit, right??

And yes, in typical Michelle fashion, this post is up late which mean that there will actually be 2 posts going up today.

I am still going to be working on my “mommy” blog– A Constant Work In Progress at http://www.michellesdailydealings.blogspot.com Those posts will likely be weekly posts and will be up on Saturdays or Sundays beginning this weekend. Those posts will consist of all family related and kid updates. This blog will still be about the rest of who I am. The avid reader, the planner enthusiast, the makeup lover, the YouTube watcher, the wanna be runner, the self help obsessed….

Let’s just jump right in.

Today is Day 1 — Introduction and recent pic.

You just read your introduction, so here is your recent pic, taken on November 26, 2015- Thanksgiving Day and my 33rd Birthday!!!

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